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In 2019 I posted a casual photo of a slice of pizza. It was good, not great—I didn’t mention where it was from. There was an aggressive onslaught from people who found this photo of pizza but didn’t follow me, demanding I answer “WHERE IS THE PIZZA FROM?” followed by accusations of “gatekeeping” (lol) when I didn’t immediately respond.
If the pizza had been good, I probably would have mentioned where to find it—sharing information is cool, especially pizza-related information. I genuinely enjoy telling people about something I like when I think you’ll like it, too. This is the best pepper grinder (but sold out most places). These pants make my butt look incredible. I love these plates and may buy them if you don’t. And, for the record, I think this is some of the best pizza in New York.
I’m sure you’ve noticed, but recommendations-based content has a real chokehold on social media, most of all, this platform. The people who really thrive tend to give you the most precious or practical intel, promise you the most special and exclusive XYZ. If there was a newsletter that would tell me exactly what shade of neutral-but-not-boring cream I should pick for my living room, I would subscribe yesterday. For the departments I’m not an expert in, I prefer to hear from someone that is. If it can be recommended, we (I) want the recommendation. We want to know where they’re eating. The perfect black blazer. Where to stay in Greece. Recommendations that will presumably save us from wasting time or money, two things we hate to do. Efficiency…now that, we love! The people need to know. We all want to know. I want to know!
That said, the assumed entitlement that everyone should have the option to have the exact same everything as everyone else has reached a…weird place. Everyone with the same clothes, the same reservation at whatever mid restaurant, the same Instagrammy vacation spot, the same secret summer swimming hole. I’m guilty of this—it’s how I ended up buying a pair of “belated birthday gift to myself” high-waisted leather Proenza Schouler pants last night on my phone (I’ll do whatever Lauren tells me to). I get it.
If this all sounds a little convoluted, know that I agree. I’m working through this in real time*. As an enneagram 4 (lol), “individuality” is very important to me. I’m also a Libra rising, so I also need to NOT MISS OUT. I want both in equal measure (inside me are two wolves). I want to bash recommendation culture and also give you recommendations because I think they’re helpful (and you asked). I want to take a trip knowing nothing about the restaurants I’m supposed to go to and also will feel DEEP longing and regret if I do not go to the restaurant I am supposed to go to. I want to be a unique gorgeous creature in this world and also buy the sweater you look so good in so I can also look so good. Really, I want it all, but above all, I want to be free from my own expectations that if I buy those pants I’ll look like that (I won’t), and if I go to that restaurant, I’ll have a life-affirming meal (I probably won’t).
*obsesses about attempting to articulate it every night while I fall asleep
Something I’m personally working on, especially when I travel, is to rediscover my senses of discovery. Remember what it was like to travel without Google Maps or working wifi. Look at the list but ignore most of it. Know that if I don’t go to the restaurant or museum exhibit flooding my feed, the place I go instead might just be as good (maybe even better). Or it might be bad! And that’s okay too. It’s all just information. Much like dating, you need to know what you don’t like to fully appreciate what you do, further cultivating your own sense of taste and identity. I feel this way about cooking, which is why I’m always encouraging you to make something as-written and then decide what you’d do differently based on your preferences. Read the recipe, cook through it, then ignore it if you like.
Anyway, back to pizza. The good news about New York is that we have two types of pizza: Pizza and GREAT pizza. Sometimes, it’s just a slice of pizza—but even that is pretty good. I feel this way about most places when I travel. For me, even the worst pasta in Rome is still pasta in Rome, the most basic taco in Mexico City is still a taco in Mexico City, the most unassuming wine bar in Paris, is still a wine bar in Paris.
A few weeks back I was lucky to go to the latter for work, and while I didn’t have a ton of free time, I did get some nice time with many plates of thinly sliced cured meat. While I don’t have a definitive list (I haven’t spent enough time there to have one), I do have some spots I think you’ll enjoy (and we love information!). Of course, I’m going to forget some places— this is not comprehensive. These places are cobbled together from recommendations from friends, happenstance encounters, other people's lists old and new.
Maybe most importantly, I also very much encourage you to ignore at least half of this list and replace it with places you’ve never heard of. Trust that if you stumble upon a place that looks cute and charming and possibly delicious and fun, that it might be, regardless if someone told you to go there or not.
So, here is A list (not the list). Enjoy responsibly! But first, some things to note:
1. The wine bars are my favorite places to eat. The best places have the best vibe, regardless of what’s on the menu, that frankly change far too frequently to ever go for one single thing. Photos of dishes you saw on Instagram (or wherever) aren’t necessarily available tonight or whenever you’re planning your trip and I think that’s beautiful.
2. Anyone who knows Paris will say “make sure to get a reservation,” which I both respect and loathe—but they are correct.
3. One question I will not entertain is, “Is it worth the hype?” Darling, almost nothing is! The sooner we accept that, the more enjoyable our lives will be. But enter any fun-seeming establishment with the possibility that the food might just be okay and you’ll have a great time anyway.
Delicatessen Place. New to me this trip, a good case of “stumbled upon.” Cute wine bar in the 11th, excellent lighting, great music, perfect snacks. I’m guessing the menu changes frequently, but the night I went the clams were excellent, and there was a ricotta/yolk-filled raviolo which reminded me of when I worked at Quince (compliment). For wines, they had one red and one white by the glass. Bottles (get a bottle) for sale can be purchased at their wine shop next door and brought over to drink.
Les Enfants du Marché. This is now a place I will always go the day I land, early in the day when jet lag has either set in or is so bad it’s like it hasn’t set in yet. It’s outside at the market, Marché des Enfants Rouge in the Marais, and you can get a table when you need a table (even if you wait a few minutes, it’s still possible). The people who work here are very attractive and everyone feels very busy and alive. It’s a nice antidote to the energy of the plane you were just on. I’ve never had the same thing twice, so can’t tell you what to order, but just order what you like. If you like snails, get the snails. If you’re into fish, get whatever fish they have (often lots of fish). You get it. The food tends to read fussy-ish, but remains deeply delicious.
Aux Deux Amis. My favorite wine bar in Paris, maybe. Nothing really to report or say, it’s just perfect and I love it. They do a set lunch which is really nice, but honestly I like to go at night for some cheese and heavy wine consumption.
Folderol. Cute wine bar that has ice cream and wine, in the 11th. It was some of the best ice cream I have ever had (this is coming from a person who generally does not enjoy “fancy” or “housemade” ice cream because it’s frankly so tough to taste better than mint and chip from Thrifty’s/Baskin-Robbins/Häagen-Dazs). There are also savory items like anchovies on a plate and some hams so you can really “have it all.”
Septime La Cave. If I wanted to open something of my own, I would open something just like this. I prefer it to all the Septime-adjacent (Septime, Clamato) establishments. It’s a wine bar, not a restaurant (though the snacks are great and they do pizza from Septime 2x a night…7pm and 9pm?).
Le Dauphin. Bistro in the 11th. I had the best sole meunière of my life here, and I’m not sure I can ever order it anywhere else again. Untouchable sole, really. A little rowdy, non-traditional, but definitively FRENCH vibe. All the food is just very very good.
Chez Georges. Anna Polonsky told me this is her favorite bistro in all of Paris and I get it. It’s charm, plus charm, plus a steak with bone marrow and really cute curtains. I went for lunch and had just a quintessential “lovely time.” The food is good, but it’s really the vibe you’re there for. Exquisite people watching.
Other places that might be on your list already but worth noting: Bistrot Paul Bert is fun and they tolerate all the Americans. Le Verre Volé is great, though they tolerate the Americans slightly less. Le Clown Bar is a delight (and you do need to get the cervelle de veau). I didn’t make it to Le Tagine, though I wish I had. Early June, no matter who is cooking, will be delicious and fun. Sur Mer for seafood lunch. Mokonuts for lunch and a cookie. Le Servan for dinner. Passerina for Italian snacks. La Quincave was an accidental stumbleupon and I’m so glad we did. All the croissants and various pastries are, for the most part, really great (and tend to be very different than one another— I never found “my favorite”). For other recommendations, everyone (including many Parisians) pointed me to
, which is pretty comprehensive. Le Fooding is also still (in my opinion) pretty reliable.Another good Paris find this trip: Sézane. Clothes that encourage me to feel like I’m on vacation, even if I’m working. Many thanks to them for kindly sponsoring this week’s newsletter, on theme for so many reasons! Paris! Recommendations! Makes the head spin, really.
Tbh the perfect shade of neutral but not boring cream is Dimity by Farrow & Ball. -Hyland (We did mushrooms together and played pool after a sky ting party) Hope you are doing well lol!
Co-sign all sentiments re: recs, “gatekeeping,” entitlement, NEEDING to know/share, keeping our individuality.