I just finished listening to the entire podcast interview w/ Dax & Monica.
I wish I'd been in that room to just give you a big fat hug. Probably wouldn't have been welcome... but I just heard the pain and honesty in your voice. Do you know how few people out there can actually TAKE criticism? And have the humility t…
I just finished listening to the entire podcast interview w/ Dax & Monica.
I wish I'd been in that room to just give you a big fat hug. Probably wouldn't have been welcome... but I just heard the pain and honesty in your voice. Do you know how few people out there can actually TAKE criticism? And have the humility to ADMIT when they've screwed up, & have some work to do on themselves? I felt that your breaking down that episode was pretty damn brave, b/c I'm sure you hate to talk about it with anyone who won't go into the conversation with a gentleness, a humanity. What my mom beautifully calls "a generosity of spirit" - meaning: approaching a difficult topic or moment with a heart that is prepared to be generous, prepared to make space for messiness, to extend grace.
Thank you for modeling what it looks like, in our increasingly - precariously - intolerant/brittle culture, in which perfectly decent, evolving folks who are trying to improve get 'canceled' - yes - and yet other people who SHOULD get canceled... who SHOULD be shamed & penalized ... well...they get to be the 45th President....
So there's little justice. And I was just struck by what a graceful, frank, transparent conversation that was, that you allowed, & participated in with such raw authenticity. I really, really appreciated it. I felt my cold, cynical heart regarding the state of humanity thawing just a smidge.
And it's funny, I'm one of those people who didn't know who you were until the Scarlet Letter moment in your career... I'd casually followed Chrissy Tiegen b/c I like cooks who are kind of anti-Martha Stewarts... who embrace life's messiness & aren't in it for perfection, but for joy.... & I remember seeing some dumb-ass click-bait headline -- which of course I clicked on, because I suck -- about a "feud" between folks in the cooking world... & - all prepared to feel somewhat defensive for Chrissy (not cuz she's perfect but I just thought, "who the hell is messing w/ her now...?" ) - I read your actual quote....what you actually said that made everyone flip out... And I kid you not, I remember reading it thinking.... "Wait... THAT'S what this Alison Roman person is getting dragged for? But what she said isn't all that offensive... no matter how many people at the time tried to parse unforgivable levels of cruelty INTO what you'd said...And I just remember thinking, "Okay I don't know who Alison Roman is, but whoever she is...this feels like an over-reaction. Maybe a teachable moment... sure... but... the hate & glee that rained down from the Twitterverse.... well...".
It's not an exaggerration that it was my frustration w/ what seemed like a totally unnecessary over-reaction to your quote, & the frankly out-of-bounds furor it caused, made me look you up. And I remember seeing your first cookbook & thinking, "Y'know what? I'ma buy this chick's book." I thought, I'm just gonna show a little support, b/c I didn't know what else to do that was subversively counter-acting the outsized hate you were getting.
And so, really not knowing you at all, I opened my Amazon package to be standing in my foyer, holding "Dining In" & my exact thought was...
"Huh. Cool ceramics & glass-wear in the cover photo..."
And that was it. I was in.
After that day's craziness, I poured a tiny little glass of rye whisky w/ one rock, & climbed into bed w/ "Dining In"... & I didn't put it down til I'd read the whole thing. It was just so... human. And humane. And forgiving. It was so, SO forgiving. I felt like it was the perfect way women should talk about the things they do well: by not apologizing one bit for their excellence & high standards...but simultaneously by not *needing* to sort of make every woman reading the book (or dude :) feel totally inadequate & like they'll never in a million years measure up to this picture perfect cookbook...
It was the right balance of ballsiness & confidence... & also being really f*cking *real.*
I dug it.
Anyway - & then I found "Home Movies" and "The Newsletter," & saw the tiny-ass kitchen you were working with, & I just happily drifted into the unpretentious sweetness & realness that is your filming & teaching style. And I've been gratefully learning & bettering my cooking ever since.
All this to say: I'm so glad you didn't go away.
I'm so glad that you had the courage to... come back. To come back into the public sphere, & try again. To refuse to let this one hard moment define you, but also you came back with what felt - to me at least - like a *total absence of defiance.* An absence of a kind of arrogant refusal to have learned anything. There was no preening "f*ck-all-y'all-I'm-NEVER-gonna-change!" vibe. Not at all. It felt like a strong woman who'd gone through some sh*t... took some time out to do some work on herself... & then non-defensively, but also respectfully... was re-entering the arena to simply do what she does well, and sort of quietly rebuild something meaningful. A second chapter.
Anyway... sorry this is so stupidly long.
i was just really moved by that whole interview on the podcast.
I'm glad to be able to support you in even a tiny way, like buying your cookbooks & introducing folks to your vibe & cooking your food for people I love.
Thank you for not staying away, in that shame. Thank you for rising out of it with grace and without publicist-driven brand-protecting fakery & bullsh*t.
So...thanks for being a person who simply decided to try again.
Oh my goodness, Alison.
I just finished listening to the entire podcast interview w/ Dax & Monica.
I wish I'd been in that room to just give you a big fat hug. Probably wouldn't have been welcome... but I just heard the pain and honesty in your voice. Do you know how few people out there can actually TAKE criticism? And have the humility to ADMIT when they've screwed up, & have some work to do on themselves? I felt that your breaking down that episode was pretty damn brave, b/c I'm sure you hate to talk about it with anyone who won't go into the conversation with a gentleness, a humanity. What my mom beautifully calls "a generosity of spirit" - meaning: approaching a difficult topic or moment with a heart that is prepared to be generous, prepared to make space for messiness, to extend grace.
Thank you for modeling what it looks like, in our increasingly - precariously - intolerant/brittle culture, in which perfectly decent, evolving folks who are trying to improve get 'canceled' - yes - and yet other people who SHOULD get canceled... who SHOULD be shamed & penalized ... well...they get to be the 45th President....
So there's little justice. And I was just struck by what a graceful, frank, transparent conversation that was, that you allowed, & participated in with such raw authenticity. I really, really appreciated it. I felt my cold, cynical heart regarding the state of humanity thawing just a smidge.
And it's funny, I'm one of those people who didn't know who you were until the Scarlet Letter moment in your career... I'd casually followed Chrissy Tiegen b/c I like cooks who are kind of anti-Martha Stewarts... who embrace life's messiness & aren't in it for perfection, but for joy.... & I remember seeing some dumb-ass click-bait headline -- which of course I clicked on, because I suck -- about a "feud" between folks in the cooking world... & - all prepared to feel somewhat defensive for Chrissy (not cuz she's perfect but I just thought, "who the hell is messing w/ her now...?" ) - I read your actual quote....what you actually said that made everyone flip out... And I kid you not, I remember reading it thinking.... "Wait... THAT'S what this Alison Roman person is getting dragged for? But what she said isn't all that offensive... no matter how many people at the time tried to parse unforgivable levels of cruelty INTO what you'd said...And I just remember thinking, "Okay I don't know who Alison Roman is, but whoever she is...this feels like an over-reaction. Maybe a teachable moment... sure... but... the hate & glee that rained down from the Twitterverse.... well...".
It's not an exaggerration that it was my frustration w/ what seemed like a totally unnecessary over-reaction to your quote, & the frankly out-of-bounds furor it caused, made me look you up. And I remember seeing your first cookbook & thinking, "Y'know what? I'ma buy this chick's book." I thought, I'm just gonna show a little support, b/c I didn't know what else to do that was subversively counter-acting the outsized hate you were getting.
And so, really not knowing you at all, I opened my Amazon package to be standing in my foyer, holding "Dining In" & my exact thought was...
"Huh. Cool ceramics & glass-wear in the cover photo..."
And that was it. I was in.
After that day's craziness, I poured a tiny little glass of rye whisky w/ one rock, & climbed into bed w/ "Dining In"... & I didn't put it down til I'd read the whole thing. It was just so... human. And humane. And forgiving. It was so, SO forgiving. I felt like it was the perfect way women should talk about the things they do well: by not apologizing one bit for their excellence & high standards...but simultaneously by not *needing* to sort of make every woman reading the book (or dude :) feel totally inadequate & like they'll never in a million years measure up to this picture perfect cookbook...
It was the right balance of ballsiness & confidence... & also being really f*cking *real.*
I dug it.
Anyway - & then I found "Home Movies" and "The Newsletter," & saw the tiny-ass kitchen you were working with, & I just happily drifted into the unpretentious sweetness & realness that is your filming & teaching style. And I've been gratefully learning & bettering my cooking ever since.
All this to say: I'm so glad you didn't go away.
I'm so glad that you had the courage to... come back. To come back into the public sphere, & try again. To refuse to let this one hard moment define you, but also you came back with what felt - to me at least - like a *total absence of defiance.* An absence of a kind of arrogant refusal to have learned anything. There was no preening "f*ck-all-y'all-I'm-NEVER-gonna-change!" vibe. Not at all. It felt like a strong woman who'd gone through some sh*t... took some time out to do some work on herself... & then non-defensively, but also respectfully... was re-entering the arena to simply do what she does well, and sort of quietly rebuild something meaningful. A second chapter.
Anyway... sorry this is so stupidly long.
i was just really moved by that whole interview on the podcast.
I'm glad to be able to support you in even a tiny way, like buying your cookbooks & introducing folks to your vibe & cooking your food for people I love.
Thank you for not staying away, in that shame. Thank you for rising out of it with grace and without publicist-driven brand-protecting fakery & bullsh*t.
So...thanks for being a person who simply decided to try again.
It shows the rest of us that we can do that too.