Re: the wine, you could always just have non-alcoholic wine. You get the taste you want, in-laws don't worry about their grandbaby. Win win. PS, Emily Oster isn't a doctor, so I don't see that discussion going well.
If that comes off judgy, I apologize, not how I meant it. Everyone has their own individual risk tolerance. Only meant as far as avoiding a thing with the in-laws.
Re: the poor woman who called in with the mean sisterinlaw. I have three girls, now women, and at one point or another in 5th or 6th grade, someone was on the outs with the group...how to regain entry or just civility? Fight fire with fire! The only thing that will work is if this lovely woman (the wife) goes into Thanksgiving pretending (that is the key) that nothing is amiss nothing strange. WIFE ( I am sorry I forgot your name!) has to ignore sisterinlaw and act totally fine. She can say hello, but don't sit near her but make it unintentional, there is someone else you want to talk to. Have conversations (lively ones!) with others and avoid her but so that it is not obvious. If she speaks to you give a nice confident hello but then be rushing to the bathroom or to go get a drink. Don't give a care, act confident and happy and she will hate that. Act like you don't need her, like nothing is going on between you and basically don't engage. If she comes into a conversation with the group you are in, politely excuse yourself (lots of trips to the bathroom) but in a friendly way. It works every single time! Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you grovel, hurt, or even acknowledging her animosity. If your husband speaks to her, she will just deny acting like this, it won't do anything. If you don't give them the attention, whatever is happening, is not happening! Good luck!!
First of all, you are wonderful; probably the hero of this episode. Congratulations on having a new life in front of you!
I wanted to reach out and give you my unsolicited advice, as someone who has been in a similar situation.
Travel abroad!!!
If you can get out of the country during thanksgiving and make it a time that is just for you, it’s fantastic!
I moved to France 13 years ago, and Thanksgiving was such a strange time for me in the beginning. I originally hosted it with my French friends the first year, as time went on I met other expats and I would celebrate with them, then we all went our separate ways and I’ve found my new way of doing it. What I can tell you though, is that every year we have at least one friend of a friend that is invited to Thanksgiving because they’re in town; and it’s always fabulous to have them.
I don’t know if you have friends living abroad that you can ask to visit during that period; but if not, find the expat places! They’re everywhere and it’s really easy to meet fantastic people, you might even get invited to someone’s home for thanksgiving! As a long time expat, if I know someone as sweet as you is alone on thanksgiving, they would get an invite to my table.
There is also soooo much beauty in being in Prague, or Florence, or Paris (even London), and having a stunning, solo dinner in a country that has no idea of what that day means, just to feel grateful for yourself and your accomplishments. Because you deserve that, we all do!
Sending you so much love and light this holiday season!
Re: the wine, you could always just have non-alcoholic wine. You get the taste you want, in-laws don't worry about their grandbaby. Win win. PS, Emily Oster isn't a doctor, so I don't see that discussion going well.
If that comes off judgy, I apologize, not how I meant it. Everyone has their own individual risk tolerance. Only meant as far as avoiding a thing with the in-laws.
Or they could live their truth and explain that it’s their baby, their body and their choice!
Whatever floats your boat! ❤️
Re: the poor woman who called in with the mean sisterinlaw. I have three girls, now women, and at one point or another in 5th or 6th grade, someone was on the outs with the group...how to regain entry or just civility? Fight fire with fire! The only thing that will work is if this lovely woman (the wife) goes into Thanksgiving pretending (that is the key) that nothing is amiss nothing strange. WIFE ( I am sorry I forgot your name!) has to ignore sisterinlaw and act totally fine. She can say hello, but don't sit near her but make it unintentional, there is someone else you want to talk to. Have conversations (lively ones!) with others and avoid her but so that it is not obvious. If she speaks to you give a nice confident hello but then be rushing to the bathroom or to go get a drink. Don't give a care, act confident and happy and she will hate that. Act like you don't need her, like nothing is going on between you and basically don't engage. If she comes into a conversation with the group you are in, politely excuse yourself (lots of trips to the bathroom) but in a friendly way. It works every single time! Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you grovel, hurt, or even acknowledging her animosity. If your husband speaks to her, she will just deny acting like this, it won't do anything. If you don't give them the attention, whatever is happening, is not happening! Good luck!!
Dear Christina(Kristina?) from Seattle, WA
First of all, you are wonderful; probably the hero of this episode. Congratulations on having a new life in front of you!
I wanted to reach out and give you my unsolicited advice, as someone who has been in a similar situation.
Travel abroad!!!
If you can get out of the country during thanksgiving and make it a time that is just for you, it’s fantastic!
I moved to France 13 years ago, and Thanksgiving was such a strange time for me in the beginning. I originally hosted it with my French friends the first year, as time went on I met other expats and I would celebrate with them, then we all went our separate ways and I’ve found my new way of doing it. What I can tell you though, is that every year we have at least one friend of a friend that is invited to Thanksgiving because they’re in town; and it’s always fabulous to have them.
I don’t know if you have friends living abroad that you can ask to visit during that period; but if not, find the expat places! They’re everywhere and it’s really easy to meet fantastic people, you might even get invited to someone’s home for thanksgiving! As a long time expat, if I know someone as sweet as you is alone on thanksgiving, they would get an invite to my table.
There is also soooo much beauty in being in Prague, or Florence, or Paris (even London), and having a stunning, solo dinner in a country that has no idea of what that day means, just to feel grateful for yourself and your accomplishments. Because you deserve that, we all do!
Sending you so much love and light this holiday season!