Getting dressed these days

and thoughts on "maternity wear"

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I’ve been determined to avoid wearing maternity clothes for as long as I’m able, which at 7+ months pregnant is becoming less and less possible by the day. To give you a sense of what I’m working with because I’m often asked based on my recommendations and what might work for others: I’m 5’9”, usually wear a size 8/10, my torso is long and I almost always wear larger bottoms than tops. The following tale of “maternity dressing” is for my body and what works for me– one persons account of getting dressed during this time.

If this were the summer or spring or even fall, I’d probably just wear dresses and loose fitting flowy garments, but it’s winter. I must be warm, I need to be cozy. Unfortunately, I need pants. I’ve tried the “just size up” method of new and old/vintage denim, but end up looking and feeling sloppy– they really just don’t quite fit. I’ve also tried the “loop the hair tie onto the button” trick, which worked twice, but not before and not after those two times. Finally, I’m sad to report after a few failed attempts, maternity jeans (even “the best ones”) just simply are not for me. They feel like fake pants– the over the belly ones feature horrible bands of fabric meant to stretch over a giant belly (not a feature of regular pants) above a set of “buttons” (not real buttons) starting well below the usual place. The below the belly sit so far below the belly I feel unsafe, exposed and spilling out every which way like the Gen Z I am not. I understand some people love maternity jeans and feel confident and attractive in them– I can not relate.

I admit the one piece of “maternity wear” that I am truly loving are…the leggings (boring!). After trying and failing to make “regular” leggings work, I understood I really did need the extra fabric. Now, I’m in a fully committed relationship with a leggings-based lifestyle— This makes me feel both comfortable and like I’ve given something up. These and these are my favorite and I wear them nearly every day, which is easy because they go with everything I already own.

Of course, there are a lot of button-ups (and button-downs?). All ones I wore before and wear now and will wear after, all worn over leggings. Lots of pull-over sweaters and cardigans (also over leggings). My already oversized jackets all fit mostly the same (and basically hide the fact that I’m even pregnant at all, which makes it annoying to ride the crowded subway) and wow, are jackets and leggings a match made in heaven.

A very good jacket– this one, like a lot of outerwear these days, is designed to fit “oversized”, which means I take regular sizing and they just fit regular?

Anyway, as I’ve become more pregnant and “couldn’t help but wonder” if there was a whole world of cool, well-fitting maternity clothing I’ve been missing out on, I have come to the conclusion that with the exception of those leggings and bras: No? I think it’s all a total racket (this especially goes for things like “maternity sweaters” or “maternity shirts”). Most items seem to just be more expensive, slightly larger-in-some-places, (significantly?) less stylish versions of sweaters and shirts preying on women who are desperate to fit into something and look nice (me, that’s me) for a few short months.

All to say, I don’t think there is a magic solution to “chic maternity wear.” Beyond that, I don’t like being pressured into buying more things if I don’t have to (which, I’m told by many parents is a lot of what having a baby is like, but generally I think that’s what living is like! We need so much less than we are told we need!!).

This is a stretchy white mock neck I’ve been wearing (regular sizing), blue sweater (regular sizing) and…..maternity leggings which are now a part of my body.

As you may know from my cooking advice, I’m obsessively practical. I hate useless steps, single-use items, single-use tools, things people tell you you “need” that you’ll use once, or already own a version of that works just as well. I feel this way about maternity clothes and am determined to just make my button-downs that look great on my non-pregnant body work for me while I’m also pregnant.

It helps that I have a preference for oversized items to begin with and my weight has fluctuated enough times in recent years that I already had clothes that fit well into my second (and third) trimester. This time of getting dressed has also boosted my patience and enthusiasm for combing through the men’s button-down and sweater sections at my favorite thrift stores, plus, I got a few hand-me-downs, which I’ll be paying forward.

Maybe this method of “wear what you already have and will wear again” doesn’t/won’t work for everyone, everyone’s existing closet, or every body type, but it’s working for me– even if it sometimes looks like I’m squeezing into something that doesn’t quite fit. I’m pregnant, maybe it *doesn’t* quite fit! I think that’s fine! I’m growing teeth and organs inside my body, yes I’m “squeezing into something”!

The times I’ve most enjoyed putting clothes on are to go out to a party, nice dinner or some sort of “event,” of which there are no shortages this month (frankly I’m RSVP-ing “no” to most– but please, don’t stop inviting me!!). During holiday seasons past, my typical go-to would almost always involve some sort of high-waisted pant and a good heel, maybe a little crop top with blazer situation. These days, pants are not so much on the table, so I do end up in dresses, sometimes feeling overdressed but generally embracing this new, dare I say “feminine” vibe (there are also bows).

The moral of the story is none of the dresses are maternity specific and most are ones I owned/wore “before.” If I’m shopping now, I look for garments made from stretchy, forgiving, body-hugging fabric that I could still wear after I’m no longer pregnant. Buy for now, but also buy for later. Here are some of my recent favorites:

excellent non-maternity dress from TWO YEARS ago, still fits, now with 60% more underboob. plz ignore the pile of clothes behind me, this room is a work in progress (just like all of us!)

I wore this one to my baby shower; here I am enjoying a radish

this dress looks particularly good in a bathroom mirror pic, so comfortable I could deliver in it (probably). this is the bag.

A huge thank you to Sézane for sponsoring this week's newsletter– I am genuinely thrilled to be able to wear these clothes now knowing I’ll still want to (and can) wear them afterwards. With the exception of this skirt which I sized up for, I’ve taken regular sizes throughout pregnancy. And no, the sweaters aren’t itchy.